EVER GET ANGRY WITH THOSE YOU LOVE THE MOST?
I’m noticing that I do.
You may even be surprised to hear that I get angry and have a rather ‘dark side’ because I often portray myself as a very nice guy.
I’ve been told so many times growing up, “you’re such a nice guy.”
Coincidentally, sometimes hearing that led me to feel angry lol!
Is it a good thing to be perceived as a nice guy, or is that another way of saying, ‘a guy who is great support, but kind of gets walked over’? I used to ponder this growing up.
…Anyways, I have this angry side of me that comes up, usually during stressful times.
It came up the other day and I offended someone I love very much. I didn’t know what to do.
To a large degree I felt like I didn’t do anything wrong, but a deeper truth was that I was being cruel and unfair.
I sat down and pondered what had happened, how I felt and what I believed about the situation.
I realized that what I said was COMPLETELY unfair and illogical, and that I was disappointed with myself.
…And then I realized something big. I realized a deep, deep fear that I’ve never been fully aware of.
The belief that I’m “a bad person.”
Once I realized this deep and pointless fear/belief pattern, I’m now able to face it and conquer it.
Now, it’s very important at this time for me (and you when you deal with your fears) to not actually battle the fear. That only causes more tension and separation which actually causes more SHAME.
What’s most important is to actually hold my fear and love my fear of “being a bad person.”
Deep within the fear there’s a scared little boy who only wants to be loved, seen and appreciated.
And you know what, men? That’s scary as hell to admit. Every part of our being wants to resist feeling like a child.
But facing our greatest fears is the only road to freedom, even if it’s the LAST thing we want to do.
So I’m holding the inner boy today. I’m loving my shame and my shadow. I’m loving him without judgement. I’m letting him express whatever he needs to express to feel safe and whole again.
Going through the process today…
Step up here, men: http://highlyconsciousman.com/
#beconscious #feeltoheal #stepup
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