In high school I felt like an outcast. A loser. An idiot.
I often felt like I was dumb because I didn’t take in information as quickly as my peers, and I even ‘had’ a slight learning disability.
But most of all, I felt completely retarded with my ability to understand and spark real and lasting attraction with women. More often than not…
>> I felt scared when I wanted to say hi to her
>> Vulnerable when my voice choked up around her
>> Shameful when I didn’t talk to her
>> And angry when I saw her date confident, cocky guys who didn’t treat her right
I was so painful and lonely. I even hated myself at times…
So I dove into facing my deepest fears and self doubts. I literally challenged myself for years to approach more women. To express my desire openly, in public every time I felt it. I never wanted to miss an opportunity again.
For a good 4 years I approached women in the library, the cafe, at bars, on the street, at charity events, at the gym, the cereal isle at the grocery store, and even on the streets of Buenos Aires, Argentina when I studied abroad!
I became obsessed with it, because, honestly, I wanted SO badly to have a decent sex life… Even more so I wanted a compatible girlfriend who truly loved me and gave me the attention and emotional support that I deserved.
The pain and the struggle went deep. I battled with what I labeled at the time as erectile dysfunction for years. And I was only in my early twenties!
I thought something was horribly wrong with me. At times, I was enraged with myself. How could I have this problem?!
Little did I know at the time, I was only battling my sexual shame and fear of vulnerability, and my body was telling me that I need to love myself, first, before I’m ready to share my life with another.
…After 4 years of diving into my fear of rejection almost daily, I decided I needed some support. So I hired a coach/mentor. His name was Rahul.
I worked with Rahul for much longer than I thought was necessary, 6 months. Looking back on it, I’m glad I worked with him for this long, because my fears and resistances ran much deeper than I thought and I really needed all of the support I could get. I went deeper with Rahul emotionally than anyone else in my entire life up until that point.
In this coaching experience I learned how to have everything I ever wanted (truly!) including, effortless confidence, emotional intelligence, and authentic sexual confidence.
I started approaching women without the neediness feeling anymore, but with pure, flowing expression and attraction. I didn’t have any resistance anymore to battle with.
It was magical.
The truth is, the steps to overcoming my fear of rejection was COMPLETELY WRONG. I thought I needed to constantly face the fear head on and overcome it by man-handling it with pure intention. But after my coaching experience, I learned that It is all about the following:
1. Self love & acceptance AKA embrace the fear
3. Wait until the fear settles
4. Take action when true inspiration arises
5. If you resist to take action, go back to steps 1-4
I remember I told Rahul one day, I did the most effortless approach I’ve ever done. That’s when I knew I ‘made it…’ haha.
The effortlessness in my daily life directly correlated to everything in my life including my work productivity, my social life, and, yes, my sex life.
The truth is, how we do one thing is how we do everything. How we treat our bodies is how we treat our family and friends. How we show up in the bedroom is how we show up in our business presentations. How we treat our woman is how we treat our employees and business partnerships.
I put myself through years of training and mentorship to finally learn how to accept and embrace fear as a daily occurrence in life. Then, everything changed.
My relationships got better. I got on purpose with my work. I attracted a lasting relationship with my dream woman. And I cultivated authentic sexual confidence that sends ripple affects of joy into all areas of my life.
How would it feel for you if you found effortless confidence in all that you do? How would that affect your life emotionally, sexually, relationally, financially, and spiritually? In the short term? In the long term?
Answer in the comments below. I’d love to hear what you have to say.
BONUS: Vulnerability Challenge
1. Today, the challenge is to share one thing vulnerable about yourself with a friend or someone you care about. Remember to allow yourself to follow the 5 steps: 1) embrace any fear that comes up, 2) take a few deep breathes, 3) allow the fear to subside, 4) when inspired, take immediate and effortless action, 5) if no action is taken, go back to steps 1-4.
2. If you enjoyed this article, and learned some valuable lessons from it, share the link in your message and let them know that you thought they might like it.
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