How to Deal with Anxiety: Have More Confidence, Less Stress and Better Sex

There are many ways to decrease anxiety, build confidence and have better sex, but there is one way in particular to improve all of them simultaneously. It is deep breathing.

Most likely, you (and the majority of the population) deal with a significant amount of anxiety on a daily basis. Over time this energy builds up from day to day worries and triggers shortness of breath, increased heart rate and consequential lack of awareness. Unfortunately this can lead to a decrease in your creativity and ability to focus.

“The quality of your thought is hugely influenced by your biology.” – Dr. Allen Watkins

The important thing to realize is that you can control your physiology instead of “it” controlling you. Ultimately, YOU are the master and commander of your physical and mental state. In order to finally master control over your body and mind I recommend deep breathing.

To breathe most effectively, you must implement a few things to get the greatest “bang for your buck.” It isn’t too difficult to simply expand and contract your lungs; however, there is a specific way to do so that will allow you to gain control over your body and enhance your presence (watch this video from Dr. Allen Watkins to learn more).


Four Steps for Optimal Breathing:

1. Breathe deeply with rhythmic breaths:  the most important part is to keep the same rhythm throughout (i.e. 4 seconds breathe in, 5 seconds breathe out, 4 seconds breathe in, 5 seconds breathe out, etc)

Note: Maintaining the same breathing pattern will help your heart supply better quality “fuel” from the heart to the brain according to Dr. Watkins

2. Breath in and out with long, smooth breaths instead of quick, fast breaths

3. Breathe in and out through the center of the chest where your heart is

4. Contract your diaphragm when breathing in (expand your belly as if you are filling it up like a balloon) and expand it when breathing out


Simply breathing rhythmically in this way for 3-5 minutes at a time will help your entire body function better. The full supply of oxygen to your lungs will aid in a long list of health benefits including: better brain function, release of body toxins, reduced blood pressure, improved physical performance, better sleep, less body & muscular tension, and more relaxed mindset.

In this article I will focus on the three desirable benefits of deep breathing that I have experienced in my life: 1) increased confidence, 2) less stress and 3) and better sex.


1. Increased Confidence

In order to be confident in any subject or activity, you must have a good amount of experience. It makes logical sense that the more practice you get, the more knowledgeable and certain you become of your abilities.

In addition to your basic recipe for confidence, deep presence and conscious awareness is required for optimal results. One trick to get into this powerful mental state of focus is to initiate deep breathing. It will more than likely help you be more present and in-turn be more confident as a byproduct.

What exactly is confidence anyways?

Confidence is doing the “right thing” no matter how you feel. In other words, it is lining up your authentic needs and desires with your actions, despite any self doubts you may have.

How do you do this? Well it’s a lot simpler than you may think. As Nike says, “Just Do It.” It really boils down to that. But with that being said, there are some great tools that can help you take action when you need to. Deep breathing is one.

If you want to be confident in a situation but you worry about what could go wrong (as many of us do), just calm yourself for a few seconds and take a few deep breaths. After a minute or so, you may notice increased calmness and awareness. In addition, if you had initial self doubts circulating through your mind, they will have melted away after deep breathing.

When you are grounded mentally and physically, you come from a much stronger place than when you had racing thoughts. You are calm and steady.

Great acts of confidence come from this state.


2. How to Deal with Anxiety

Deep breathing also helps to deal with stress and anxiety. When you are stressed or fearful, you immediately turn to short shallow breaths. In order to get out of this fearful state, initiate deep breathing for a few minutes.

This will help you get out of your head and into your body. Focusing on the sensations of your breath pulls your focus into the now. Peace and happiness can only be accomplished in the present moment, which is ultimately all we truly have.

“We’re so engaged in doing things to achieve purposes of outer value that we forget that the inner value, the rapture that is associated with being alive, is what it’s all about.”  – Joseph Campbell

The act of breathing deeply by itself can lift you up from negative emotional state to a neutral state within minutes. This means it can help you transcend self doubts and negative thinking patterns that hold you back on a daily basis.


Additionally, on a physiological level deep breathing literally relieves muscular tension, which simultaneously can relieve built up emotions. Personally, whenever I am stressed during hectic situations, I notice that my shoulders and back muscles tighten up. In order to de-stress physically and emotionally, I make it a point to take a few full breaths. When I do this over time, I notice a noticeable release of tension in my body. This in turn causes my mental stresses to melt away as well.

The longer I breathe in and out, the sooner I feel calm and at peace.


3. Better sex

Additionally, deep breathing helps relieve tension in the abdominal muscles and allows complete blood flow to the sexual organs (this is especially critical for athletes or fitness enthusiasts who work on their abs often).

The abdominal muscles are important to strengthen for proper posture and stabilization; however, incessant training of this area can cause tightness and restrict blood flow to the sexual organs. This in turn can cause erectile dysfunction and other unwanted sexual performance issues. I have personally experienced this in the past.

Luckily, I learned the benefits of deep breathing and noticed significant improvements with performance, stamina and connection with my partner due to increased presence.

The trick is to relax, breathe into your stomach and fill it up like a balloon. The more relaxed your stomach is, the better. You want to make sure to release all of the tension that you may have accumulated throughout the day/week (do this for 5 to 30 minutes before, and continue long rhythmic breaths during the… “action”).

Note: Additionally, for optimal results stretch out your ab muscles beforehand (check out “The Bow” stretch in the bio-energizer video).


4. BONUS: Improved Brain Performance

You may know that I have a podcast where I interview remarkable entrepreneurs such as Jordan Lejuwaan, Phil Drolet, and Elliott Hulse every week. Often times in these interviews I can get “foggy headed” after a half hour or so of listening and guiding the interview.  To help combat this undesirable outcome I apply deep breathing.

When I do this, I feel myself emerge from the foggy headedness into a more clear minded state. In this state I can listen more intently to the speaker as well as organize better thoughts and formulate higher quality sentences.

According to Dr. Watkins, once the rhythm of the breath is controlled, the physiology improves and in turn the mental coherency improves. The frontal lobe of the brain will work better when the heart rate and breathing is steady. This is proven to be absolutely true in my experience.



“Breath rhythmically, evenly and through the heart every day.” – Dr. Allen Watkins

I highly urge you to give deep breathing a try throughout your daily routine. It will only take a few minutes. Pay attention to your body and be more aware of the tightening patterns in your muscles. Use your breath to release tension and supply your body with much needed oxygen. You won’t regret it. Good luck improving your life with this simple and easy tip!

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By Jack Peterson

–Highly Conscious Man–

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