My greatest fear used to be the fear of feeling vulnerable. When I was 5 years old I remember three specific words that my sister and my older cousin used to say to me.
You’ll never guess what these three words were.
When my sister and cousin said these words to me, I instantly got upset and I actually felt emasculated (yes, at 5 years old, I felt emasculated).
I’m not exactly sure why I got so angry and upset about it, but emotionally I felt like I was being shamed. And I felt like girls were subconsciously taking my power away from me in this instance.
The three simple words were the following…
“You’re so cute.”
Do you know what my response was after I heard this?
With a hint of anger and defensiveness, I replied, “I’m not cute, I’m handsome!”
Why was I so defensive towards women at such an early age? Well, I was trying to protect myself from a deeply routed fear. The fear of feeling vulnerable.
This ‘wounded’ emotional pattern of avoiding vulnerability carried on for decades. It showed up EVERYWHERE in my life, especially in my relationships with women.
…When I was 18 and I had my first opportunity to have sex for the first time, I froze. I felt the vulnerability in the moment, and I immediately panicked.
In the moment, as I looked into the eyes of my beautiful girlfriend at the time, I didn’t know what to say or do. Worst of all, I was trying to think of what I ‘should do’ or what I was ‘supposed to do.’
So I got defensive. Underneath the defensiveness, I was scared.
Instead of feeling and expressing my feelings, I tried to act like I knew what I was doing. My voice started to sound more stern, coupled with some stuttering. But it only made the situation more awkward and uncomfortable for her and myself.
For years to come, I struggled with continued fear and shame in romantic, social, and sexual situations.
Surprisingly, on the outside I probably looked like I knew what I was doing, but in reality I was hiding behind the deeply routed fear of feeling vulnerable.
I even had my first sexual experience years later after picking a girl up at the bar in an overly cocky way. But it ended quickly without any real connection.
Thankfully, years later, after countless authentic relating workshops, personal development conferences and 1 on 1 coaching with some of the best coaches in the world, I learned to feel into my deepest feelings and to establish connection that lasts.
This deeper connection led me to date the highest caliber conscious, driven, powerful and sexy women I could ever imagine. Seriously, I went from 0 to 100. I’m talking, kinder garden to ivy-league in a few years (in the relationships & sex arena of my life at the time).
Then, I met my dream woman.
I was able to actually hold space for her and build a growth-filled, conscious relationship without fizzling the attraction or running away from her thinking typical excuses we as men might say about feminine women such as, “she’s crazy,” or “she’s too needy.”
This reality of being with my dream woman in my ideal relationship was only possible until I was able to face my own resistances and demons that were getting in the way of me feeling vulnerable, and more importantly, me feeling safe to truly BE myself.
…And I know you might be thinking, “yeah, yeah Jack, I know how to be myself. We’ve all heard that. Who cares.”
What I’m talking about is much deeper level of being. A much deeper level of mastery, of going beyond all of the game and social habits you’ve ever learned. I’m talking about moving entirely OUT of your comfort zone and INTO the magic zone in your relationships and sex life.
The Highly Conscious Man Zone a.k.a. the NO COMPETITION ZONE.
When you’re able to be so in touch with yourself and your feelings in the moment that you’re able to actually feel your fear and resistance and STEP INTO IT. That’s where the magic happens. That’s where true transformation and truly Divine connection occurs.
That’s where you’ll actually have gorgeous, intelligent, conscious, “PERFECT 10” WOMEN turn heads at you, and want to get to know you better.
And after they’re fully engaged and not distracted by other men, well, you can decide where you want to take it from there.
Have fun, superstar.
Did you enjoy this article? If so, please share it with a conscious man who may benefit from it.
Men, it’s time for a new paradigm. It’s time to face the TRUTH that you actually DON’T have it all together, even though it seems like you do on the outside. Lets give the women what they fantasize about. Lets be Highly Conscious. Lets blow their minds.
Questions and comments? Let me know in the comments below how you feel about being in your comfort zone verses being fully vulnerable and on edge in your interactions and relationships. Which creates deeper and more enjoyable connection for you?
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